Typically, I go to bed at midnight. I wake up by 6:30 am. For the most part, I’m tired, suffer from head aches and stomach aches throughout the day. Every now and again, the evil migraine headache hits. Even worse than all of the physical issues, is my attitude towards the kids and husband. While I believe that every post for me will involve my feelings of guilt, I will try to only mention it once in this post. I feel guilty for being tired grumpy. It’s the kind of tired that exists when the level of exhaustion you have reached allows you to function only on a level that will allow you to meet the needs of your children. If husband is in the way, ”Let me help you”, he might get pushed. That or we might have a nice, sweet discussion about how tired I am and him helping will only make things worse. This occurs at least on a weekly basis in my home. My OCD issues aren’t welcoming to other family members helping with the cleaning. So, what I thought for today’s post, is a game of sort. I will list my nightly routine for everyone to review and critique. I do all of these things EVERY night of the week. This is what is keeping me up until midnight or midnight 30.
- Get home and put dirty dishes from work in the sink.
- Greet crazy Addie doggie and give 2 yr old hugs.
- Check w/the 11 yr old to get started on homework.
- Help husband finish making dinner and get the kids set to eat.
- Eat
- Wash the kid, clear and wash the table.
- 11-yr old finishes homework, husband hangs w/the baby.
- Mon, Tues and Thurs - 11-yr old goes to swim team or basketball.
- I do dishes – OCD – a lot of dishes. I start with putting everything in the dishwasher. I hand wash the items that need hand washing. I clean the counters and stove top. I then get a new wash cloth to hand wash sippy cup lids, pacifier lids and then my coffee cup. I then wash out my coffee maker pieces. Whew, that takes forever!
- I give the baby a bath. Dad dries and lotions him up.
- I put a load of laundry in. I wash and dry a load every night.
- 11-yr old takes his shower, brushes his teeth and takes meds. Goes to bed.
- After kids are in bed, I finish any dishes left, put laundry away and move the newly washed load into the drier.
- Either husband or I does a quick vacuum in the kitchen table area and in the kitchen.
- I take a shower because I can’t stand to go to sleep w/out a shower.
- I set up the covers on the bed and check the alarm.
- Iron any clothes for the next day at work.
- Plug phones in.
- I have checked FB probably 5 times because I’m so addicted, but am checking it once before bed time while eating my bowl of cereal. Eeek, it’s a wonder I’m gaining a few poundolas.
And midnight is here and I’m tired. Ready for the cycle to start again. Everyday the same. Something Has Got to Give! I received a comment on a previous post that 8-9 hours of sleep is a must. So, I’m going to try to let go of a few of my nightly routines to get to a 10:30 pm bed time. I’m not doing very well tonight, as I felt a blog post was in order. But, there is hope for jumping into bed before midnight. Progress.
Am I insane? What am I doing wrong? What do I stop doing that would allow me to maintain my sanity? Too much, not enough? Do my other working mom friends and acquaintances have a 10 o’clock bed time ritual down to a science? Help this Rush Hour Mom get to bed earlier!! Thanks again for reading, I can’t wait to hear all of your stories and possible suggestions for meeeeeee.
I haven’t even mentioned trying to sort through and pay bills one or two days a week. We are ignoring our budget and that is NO GOOD!!! There, I mentioned it. ICK.
Sincerely.
RHM
You’re either a morning person or a night person. I’m a night person. That’s why it’s almost 12 a.m. and I’m still up trying to cross a few more things off my to do list. (Old habits die hard.) The way I see it, you COULD go to bed earlier — say, before 10 or even 9. But, then you’d just have to wake up extra early to give you time to fold that basket of laundry or wash all of the dishes. All of my working friends are one or the other. You kind of have to be. How else would everything get done? A good friend of mine often wakes up between 2 or 3 a.m. to start her day. I find peace, solace, and a quiet house at midnight before I go to bed; she finds it in the middle of the night after she’s already slept. Weird, huh? Sorry, I didn’t offer any advice. I guess I was just reminding you that you aren’t the only sleep-deprived Mama out there.
I’m definitely a night person. I think we could call each other every night about midnight and we’d both ALWAYS be up, ha ha. If I didn’t feel so icky the next day, I would stay up until 2 every night!!!
SAHM or working mom, I know we all do it. We find that time, like you said, where the house is quiet and you can have 5 minutes of time to yourself to collect your thoughts, finish the daily list or whatever!! 
I’m pretty sure I’ll never wake up at 2 or 3, ha ha. I’m definitely a night owl!! 
I don’t have the second kid – but do have a job which requires a lot of evening work (which I just finished having started at 8:30 after putting the baby to bed) so overall, the scenario sounds the same. My husband can walk past the recycling that needs to be emptied, the counter that needs to be wiped down, the shoes on the floor and the laundry to be carried to the bedroom and go straight to sleep. I can not see past them. However last year, something horrible and wonderful happened which may help you. We had a baby, moved and remodeled the house we moved into. In fact we’re not done. Living for the first 2 months in part of the house (the rest was under construction) with most of our stuff in boxes was horrible and in some ways liberating. There is no way to keep a house perfect while under construction. I gave up. I had to because it was impossible to do otherwise. I needed to not be able to do my obsessive cleaning in order to realize how many other things I could do if I spent a little less time cleaning the counters and floors and a little more time painting walls and installing flooring. In my free time, I am working more on improving the house and cleaning less. Things are getting back to normal in the house but after so many months of living “without” we’ve eliminated TONS of belongings because we didn’t need them. Bookcases have less clutter, the house feels light and clean. Closets are not full and everything has a place. We have so much less stuff to manage, it has lightened both our loads. I also decided if I was more specific, hubby could do more of the “maintenance.” If time and sanity was more important than perfection, I could have them if I asked. I made a specific list of before bed chores for EACH of us. No more heading upstairs empty handed. He’s always been rather helpful – but just doesn’t “see” what I see. We also started cooking on Sunday afternoon. In about two hours with the right groceries we can make enough food for the three of us for 4 – 5 days of dinners & lunches. Some of it is just prep cooking but our “getting dinner ready” time is now 10 minutes max and usually less. Lastly, at husband’s request, we established a one evening a week “night off” for each of us where for 3 hours the person can do whatever they want – including not come home – or come home and take a bath, much about on the computer uninterrupted. I usually use my night to work at the office late – but some habits just can’t be broken. Good luck!
Thank you, thank you Amy for your comment.
You said it perfectly. The husband doesn’t “see” it like I do. Holy moly, I just CAN’T go to bed w/ things out of order. It makes me nutty! I’ve thought about cooking on the weekend. I might look into planning that better!!! Thank you again, this is the reason for this blog. I feel like hearing this means I’m not alone in the world, ha ha 
Whoa, mama! Just reading all that makes me want to go to bed even earlier. Like Sarah said, you’re either a morning person or a night person. The problem is that you might naturally be a morning person, but you’re forcing yourself to be a night person to get everything done. I have been, and always will be, a morning person.
Like you, I can be a little (okay, a lot, OCD) when it comes to cleaning and the house in general. Zach does try to help every now and then, but he just doesn’t do it the way I like it, so I have to do it over, my way. Not his fault, which is why I don’t nag him to help very often. After looking at your list, I thought of a couple of ways to save some time. Have you thought about getting a Keurig coffee maker, one of those that does individual cups? Zero cleanup and not that much more expensive if you’re not drinking pots of coffee every day.
And the laundry–does a load have to get done every day? If you’re like us, you could probably go two full weeks before anybody actually ran out of clean clothes. Yes, the piles would drive me insane, but it’s still better than doing a load every day, at least for me. I usually do 2-3 loads on Wednesdays and again on the weekend, with a load of cloth diapers on the off days.
I know my situation is totally different because I’m at home all day, every day, but I’m just throwing out ideas here! Here’s a little poem that’ll make you feel better if the house isn’t spotless every day:
“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”
I love this poem. I’m printing it off in 48 size font and posting it in my kitchen. Seriously. Thanks Lesley. I do the same thing, I re-do whatever the hubs does. It makes him frustrated because he wants to help, but in the end, my way seems to be the only way! Ugh. Keurig is an idea. I will look into that. I do brew 6 cups a morning and drink all of it.
I drink a cup before work and then take the rest to work, so I’ll have to see if that makes sense. I do like the idea for sure!! 
We generate too much landry. That’s the biggest problem!! I’m crazy and wash anything anyone puts on their body for more than 5 minutes. That’s where I need help, ha ha. What you said makes sense though, maybe Wed night would be a good laundry night. A doesn’t have any acitivities on Wed night, we are just home!! 
Yeah, the piles would drive me insane to wait longer!! ha ha. Thanks again for the comment!!
I found your blog from Lesley’s blog roll and have been eagerly watching for updates, since I’m a work too much mom of an 18 month old. . .
I need sleep in order to function (and minimize migraines and other various mental and physical pain and suffering), and that’s my “alone time”. So, I find myself not looking at the floors too closely, even though I have a dog that leaves fur everywhere and a kid that throws food. We vacuum on the weekends (or in the 5 minutes before a scheduled guest arrives). I do a lot of laundry throughout the week – no set schedule – but I let them linger in the dryer long enough to get wrinkled and in the washer long enough to have a weird smell. Sometimes I just forget and we have to redo it. Oh well.
I did my Christmas shopping at Walgreen’s at 9 p.m, and I bought groceries for a houseful of Christmas guests on Christmas Eve. But, it all turned out fine. I’m trying not to be grouchy and enjoy quality time with my boys – they both need me to be nice and sane and available for cuddle time.
Thank you so much for your comment. I can’t wait to check out your blog!!!! I seriously love these comments from other mothers who deal with the same issues that I deal with. I really did think I was making myself crazy with guilt, cleaning, etc.!!!!!
Hello! That poem that the above poster gave you was exactly what I was gonna tell you…………don’t put your “chores” ahead of yourself, your husband, or your kids. At first, it will drive you crazy to not do so much, but you HAVE to fight past that feeling and just enjoy the moments of spending quality time with your family, and also taking care of yourself.
Like the above poster said……do you really need to do laundry every night? That seems a little unnecessary unless you absolutely have nothing else to wear. Try doing it Friday night or Sunday night.
Then, I totally understand the dishes thing. This is my weak area also. I HAVE to have the kitchen clean before I go to bed. However, NOT the coffee pot! In the Navy I learned “the dirtier the coffee pot, the better!” Ha! Also, get the stuff that goes in the dishwasher that is good enough that you don’t need to hand wash the dishes first. That’s too much for you to do. Remember, time with family vs. chores. And honestly, I’ve heard it’s not good for a babies skin to give them a bath every night. How old is the baby? I’d say four to five times a week would be ok.
Then, sit your 11 year old and your husband down and tell them it would really help you if you didn’t have to check on her/him to do her/his homework and if it would just get done on it’s own. And maybe see if it’s ok if you do something else instead of helping your husband with the dinner.
But yeah, maybe some make ahead dinners would be a good idea sometimes, and just make them when you have time and then freeze them. Or sometimes get the Stoufers lasagna with no preservatives that just pops in the microwave, and then some broccoli and you’re done for a night! Hope this helps! Relax and enjoy life!
Thank you for your reply. The baby is 2. I know, baths every night, it’s just what I’ve always done, with the 11 year old too. I think it’s the OCD thing at it’s worse. I worry about a kid wearing diapers all day and what goes into the diapers. On the weekend, we try to not have a bath one of the nights. I like the coffee pot motto!! I’ve received more than one comment regarding laundry. I’m going to try to put laundry hampers/baskets in everyone’s rooms (so that I don’t see the piles) and do laundry maybe on Wed and the weekend!!! Thanks for the ideas!!!!!
Is there a category on your poll for after 12 a.m.? I am SOOOO a night owl and NOT a morning person. And btw, why don’t we conference call at midnight? While we’re scrubbing the dishes? We’d probably enjoy it a little bit more.
Can I just say that I think you’re amazing? I don’t know how you do it.
Definitely a conference call w/you, Sarah and I!!!
No more amazing than you!! Juggling three children so close in age, staying home with them, now homeschooling. As far as I’m concerned, you’re one serious Super Mom!!!